Muse's news-es

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Layers of Red Paint

Brian Skins says, "Hey, wait. One more swig of Jack."

"Come on, Skinny. I wanna see if I'm gonna be a millionaire." Jest slams the door of Skins's 4runner. Winter winds blew east, not phasing Jest's bare chubby arms.

[and i don't know when or why I started this...]

Posted at 5/13/2008 1:13:24 pm by AnnemalMuse
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Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Before workshops and publishing, it's all trash anyway.

Because she feels comfortable with his lack of discretion
she feels okay to reveal herself feels no need
to wait for someone to pick her up
from her long ride feels no need to ask
for permission to go with this man who has
No need for someone in particular
with eyes searching for his sign as her destination

Because she feels comfortable with his desolation
she chooses to approach first before his first approach
like a deer running toward an arrow
before the hunter releases his bow
meant to shoot a still deer who waits
for the arrow to approach first without knowing
that its predator hunts it

Because she feels comfortable with his desperation
he holds his sign high for the high sign ostentatious
won't scare her away as she attracts
she actually draws in toward the sign
the sign a refigerator magnet
too strong the sign pulling
the refigerator out of its hole in the wall

Night and Day 2

At nightfall my pupils dilate.
He has me unleashed; I am on the prowl.
I can capture the best while my lover awaits,
And swiftly, swiftly I return to repent.

During day when skies clear and light reveals,
I look to only two possibilities:

Nighttime itself can release my desperate soul,
and I sleep under watch of Apollo's shine.
One touches my water, causing ripples at night
While the other burns my torch every minute of life.

Moonlight, Sunlight both shine on me
At dusk when I wish for Day

to prolong. Shadows of domineering Night
cool any heat left from Day's rays. Powerless against
an ongoing cycle, I yearn to pick one regardless of time
trailed by time. My conscience tells me to live in one.

Day approaches behind dawn's needles de light
that pierce my heart for beating at night.

Posted at 10/25/2006 1:41:17 am by AnnemalMuse
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Sunday, October 15, 2006

musique de lune

Le homme de mes r�ves

Rapacious grip. under precipitation,
I yearn to give you Eros,
Eunomia, Hemaphroditus, Peitho,
Priapus, Rhodos, Tyche. I cannot escape

your rapacious grip.

Posted at 10/15/2006 11:43:56 pm by AnnemalMuse
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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Turn-ons

A man who:

has a great sense of style, not necessarily trendy and fashionable, but deliberately-yet-effortlessly creates and ensemble each day. Maybe he wears cool vintage blazers, or he layers faded tees, or he wears just a thin fitted button-down and khakis. Please stray away from the status-symbol suits n ties or the classic aka boring button-down and slacks. Crazy interesting sneakers OR comfy flip flops are a must. Anything cool, casual, and either unusual or effortless.

has great hair. preferably touchable. mmmm shaggy... faux hawk... punky spikey if you're blessed with straight hair... that's it. that's it.

has a strong voice! (literally and figuratively)

is naturally talented and athletic.

naturally has great teeth.

=has good genetics.

has a younger (but not older) sister (and not too many) with whom he was raised. He has learned how to take care of a female, and he has protective male instincts.

has good, refined tastes.

knows how to be the life of the party.

has an interesting answer to everything.

doesn't give up.

Posted at 9/14/2006 3:55:55 am by AnnemalMuse
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Monday, May 23, 2005

School is a boring place...

Amongst all people there are you and me.
God has not presented me with a world of perfection. What He has given me is an exciting obstacle course. Let the world be my project. You... I will love you just the way you are.

0. The benefactor (male or female): This is the person whose title explains all. He or she is not completely selfless but is very conscientious. He/she is like the water on earth that everyone needs, which is better kept clean. It makes its cycle through the biosphere to benefit everything.

1. The tunnel-mind (M/F): One who finds a goal and continues to achieve it, disregarding his/her passions and anything/anyone else that cross his/her path. Sometimes others can decide what this person's goals should be, and this person will work for them. When things go wrong within this person's small orbit, he/she feels as if 'the world' has crumbled. These people are like ants who work hard, walk in one direction, and realize their duty is to serve the colony or the queen. They are strong for their size but at the bottom of the food chain.

2. Servile supporter (M/F): An earthy person with a practical outlook. Though his/her character is strong and steady, he is not capable of changing to go after something he wants. The problem with this person is that he holds inside too much, so he is easily stressed and unhappy. However, he helps the world and stays true to himself. This person is the soil of the earth.

3. The intellect (M/F): One who seeks to know everything for the pure quest for knowledge. This person can be the most simple or the most complicated depending on the view. He is like air, going everywhere and existing in everything, and is never attached to anything. This person is essential to life, yet people do not give enough credit to this person. Pollution gets worse everyday.
"Don't dump on other people!"

4. Charmer (M/F, usually F): The methods this person use can be original and unpredictable, but the person herself is sheerly just an attractive one who gets used to using one of the oldest talents. She is a butterfly whose character requires physical developtment that lasts only a very brief day.

5. Alpha Male (M/F, usually M): one with universal masculine traits. This person is strong, intelligent, vain, arrogant, and a good leader. He does not think before he acts, for his passion is strong. He knows his intentions and takes the direct path. Although he acts selfishly, this person has a pure heart and does not go out of his way. Usually quiet and attractive, he is sought after by numerous females. Due to his animalistic characteristics, he is the strongest male of any predatory species.

6. The Spirit or Damaged Spirit (M/F): One with vigorous appetite for living who has an ideal balance of intelligence and passion. His mindset relies more heavily on his intellect, but he has a soul. This person could live without love when he ruthlessly treats women as toys, yet inside he longs for his significant other. He is a very happy and successful person in life. Because of his realistic mind and sensitive feelings, he is afraid to commit; therefore he is always well yet never completely satisfied. This is the man with great potential, the man who could be, a human, a soul.

7. Crowd pleaser (M/F): One with a light-hearted, positive approach to life. She takes it or leaves it in order to get the best out of any situation while she also cheers others up. This person is a flowering plant, weak or strong, and no one ever destroys this person because she is appreciated for contribution of beauty and oxyegen. If one picks a flower, she will grow another one.

8. Pity's Lover (M/F): the pessimist of the world who would get more pleasure receiving pity than enjoying something with a passion. This person lacks passion, strength, and purpose. He/she genuinely prefers to mope about being a victim of fate. On the bright side this person is needed to ground people and keep their heads out of the clouds like gravity.

9. Immortal Heart (M/F, usually male): the rare person who seeks to fulfill his/her desires regardless of his surroundings. Similar to the Alpha Male but has several differences. He has both selfish pursuits and compassionate wishes, aiming to make the world a better place his way. Strong, self-centered, and bright, this person is like the sun with blinding effects and craved heat. This person is always there for the world though the world turns it back to him or diffuses its power with clouds. Some humans utilize itspower. Others avoid it. Some are afraid of its effects.
It continues to burn eternally.

Posted at 5/23/2005 12:54:33 pm by AnnemalMuse
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Thursday, May 12, 2005

Mine spirit grows tiresome of thy games!

Look into your reflection closely please
to notice how your eyes surrender not
No matter which girl wanting you it sees.

Could someone waiting for you be your plot
of future hope, endeavors put on hold?

If that is so, at least tell me your goal,
Or I'll continue loving till I'm told
your true intentions. Lies will hurt my soul,

So hear the clock tick; make your move before
my spirit loses will then dies. To wait
I'll manage, with no response I will deplore!
If what I feel keeps growing at this rate,

we'll soon abandon fears that caused delay

in our Heav'nly journey climbing our stairway.

Posted at 5/12/2005 12:11:10 am by AnnemalMuse
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Monday, May 09, 2005

Oh no... improv!

What is it about those funny-looking clothes
I've never seen before, and what
about that loud brassy voice I can't get
out of my head?

He fuels a memory of him in objects found everyday
to keep that unvoluntary longing still wanting,
as I remember vividly, in its same way.

A conscience keeps clear when away, discussing
what should be avoided, what seems a tragedy.

I won't stop now. There is no use repressing:

how his head makes hats look better on him than any other. even my limbs
In slumber get lonely without warmth of wings' sacrifice to shelter dreams
merged with reality into reconciliation followed by peace then a dance till dawn

when light initially begins to sparkle during oblivion of time, I find peace
in sky blue as a result from a morning begun with bright foreshadows.
Every morning after, in days of his light, I sense him in all while I live,

pouring a glass of water, watching TV from news to comedy,
thinking about politics or science, seeing an American flag,
flowers. Roses. Seeing roses by the window, through the window.

Thinking, it's useless. It's useless. It's useless just to think.

Posted at 5/9/2005 1:32:36 pm by AnnemalMuse
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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Swept off my feet

Underneath the belief that I'm not possessive

Behind the face, which keeps smiles in front

The need for passion lives around

Surrounding my denied desire for devotion

Screaming for attention as it grows within my brain

I reject from his affection and hide below

Around me he loves, but I'm one of many

Inside I wish fervently while outside I play passively

Murder

*an effort to mimic suburban youth*

Echoes of your sigh infusing me like a virus

Stealing my air and destroying my life

Formaldehyde inhaled after my desperate plea

With pains, without strength

Efforts to cut myself cannot pull through

Wishing words were bursts of lies

Reality released a dam of cries

My soul dwells on my life's last relevance

Pale from actualization's absence

Covered by shadows of her temporary smile

Tied to your coffin, vacuumed of spirit

Rejecting any wisps of opportunity

Using my last Joule to murder truth

Closing my eyes to feel death seduce

Secrets create detours for enemies

Enemies rob rights to become strong

Victims boxed, injected by guilt

Mistakes murder me

Freestyle Faith

Mother drops me off for a journey I must make alone.
Late, I stand in the back doorway looking at the front right
where Joseph's Daughter sat every Sunday and Holy Obligation.
Growing up with my father's name and his approachable power
While my mother's voice soared over the parish could not get easier.
Leaving all this behind to stand in the cold corner generated
An abyss of guilt, fears, trembles and tears.

From my processed hair to my cold, hurt hands,
Changes on the outside compare not within.
My voice hides shamefully under a dark mask.
As I reflect on my past and others' I have affected,
I refrain from ritual motions and mute myself in the back.
Believe that this faith inside is dying yet alive.

Like his divine designation, my brother accompanies me,
Realizing his past sins without feeling loss.
His gift of nonchalance is his waterproof coating on his wings.
He, too, swam too far into the ocean to discover nothing new.

Cleanse me, I beg, for my mind, spirit, and talents vanish behind
This curtain of black blood that turns my existence into a shadow.
After I step onto blessed grounds, my framed self-portrait shatters,
Sending glass pieces through my guilt-heavy heart.
In pain I silently scream inside as a tear from my right eye falls.

Look at me, with my trailing blood and scarred chest.
Look into my stronger eye, which sucks it up and smiles at you.
To you my easy-to-fake white smile easily fools, but
My glimmering dark eye holds back poisonous tears to save you.
Go ahead and derive joy from flashes of my smile, and
Neglect that pleading gaze as a tear from my left eye falls.

No, let me help you and attempt to brighten your day when
My insides and emotions are in great need of intensive care.
I can hold my open wound while I give you cool water.
I will bite my lip when your little crush fails to content your heart.
On the ground, I resist asking you to acknowledge my suffering.
Faithfully waiting, I pray that you will become gentle, merciful, and just.
Though knowing that my friends are pointing at me, I do not bother to look.
I cannot see what surrounds me if a storm of tears from both eyes fall.

By Myself A Cappella

...You didn't ask for much that one time I saw you.
Yes, only once, but a promise we did make.
While I hoped for a reason, you gave me air
And held up your pinky to intertwine with mine...

Hold up that hand and take mine too.
Do you always leave when someone loves you?
Settle with "Hello" when you want to kiss me.
You think I'll be there when, finally, you miss me?

I gambled all I had when players were cheating;
I believed in you without reason for believing.
I planted my feet as a gust of wind carried,
but naivity told me whom I had to marry.

Look up to Heaven and see me with you.
Who was The One you were afraid to pursue?
Take what I give. I'll farewell with a smile.
If only you knew, it's been too long a while.

You told me that I had not changed and
that I looked a little more like a woman.
I shared with you only a part of my future
before you asked for my pinky to swear my word.

Hold me down and tie me up,
for my declaration was far too abrupt.
Oh, talk to everyone else about your crush on Anne Marie,
then wait for my initiative to barely admit it to me.

You asked for A, but I knew you wanted B.
"Don't do X" "because I'm afraid of what I'll see."
Maybe you were scared of someone else with me together,
or If you fear my death, remember: I live forever!

I am sorry, for I have changed
to learn... Now I'm drained...
When you come back to knock on my door,
I'll be gone. I'll be yours no more...

I"ll keep what you wanted in disguise,
to keep living till the sun dies.
Another word I will give from me:
to be there when you desperately need.

I promise.

Posted at 4/26/2005 2:27:38 am by AnnemalMuse
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Sunday, April 10, 2005

From Past to Present

"Walking Down, Down the Row"
(alternative title: "Down, Down, Down the Row")

Every time I make that walk at
The hour when everyone waits to
Watch those who walk

I can see it in the eyes, following
With curiosity, then glaring with jealousy.
I can hear it in their voices,
Excited at their sight of me,
Gossiping to see what I will choose to do.
I can feel it in their heat, rising,
As they sit up in the chairs to watch.

Why do they care?

Behind the Door (villanelle)

What will I be on the other side of this door?
With many possibilities, which way will I go?
I want to be unlike any woman before.

In small fractions of my life, I bore
Without having enough skills to know.
What will I be on the other side of this door?

I could write till I rot or sing till my throat's sore,
Embrace my femininity a la Marilyn Monroe.
I want to be unlike any other woman before.

If I choose this way, I'd have to leave behind more.
I need to hurry up and choose or else die slow(ly).
What will I be on the other side of this door?

I reach for skies, yet I'm still on the floor.
Maybe I'll just enjoy my life, go with the flow.
I still want to be unlike any other woman before.

Why stop, go through now, when I could be so much more?
Correct me if I'm wrong; I still have room to grow.
What will I be on the other side of this door?
I will be unlike any great woman before.

"Darkness" Intro

Teach me how to stop.
You were first to learn how
to quit this addiction.
Once you stopped it was I
who was left suffering withdrawal.

What could you be doing?
I am stuck in a black hole.
Come find me quickly.
I'll look for your white figure.

Lift me from these seas
of tears cried in vulnerability.
I confess for my faults;
I have weakened myself for you.
You must remain by my side,
Or do you let girls drown in regret?

Find me now, I order you.
If you're gone now, what will happen
when I'm desperate?
My wrath tempts me to torture you,

only if I have enough power
left after you've cut all ties.
Hold me once
more before I make my decision.
Do what you're dying to do.
I can feel the tension like
the sun's gravity.

I shall strip myself of any doubt,
dive into an abyss with faith
that you'll follow.

"Curse of My Lover's Vigil"

I am
Perfect

in his observation.
He could not prevent
Opposite Attraction.

I felt lured before I met him,
not thinking I'd upset him--
Early occurance took a wrong
turn, leaving me mourning in song:

Ah!
Don't leave me. I lack the
strength, for dependency
takes o'er me. Love's not free,
Can you see? I love thee!

I know what he aims to do,
as I try to contain my affluent feelings.
He'll hold his breath till his soul's blue.
I'm not capable of hiding once I knew
That his eye considered my heart endearing.
...We will never be; we loved before we grew.

"Hell's Valleys"

He made me
feel like I belonged in some purgatory to repent
for what I'd done in result of so much pain.
I could not handle dark imprisonment as he...
What was he thinking?

If I could not live in chains for that
Extensive time, I would rather die than wait.
Many men placed knives in
front of me; I picked the one with his crest.
He still remembers every time he sees it.

Successful suicide,
he must have felt a strike of guilt,
which he hides as well as his secretive heart.
I suffer as a soul in Hell as I await
for him to resurect me.

At least some come
to visit my damaged spirit.
I pay homage as done in back alleys
like in the dark streets of Tokyo:
no one sees; no one's harmed,
Only their repressed knowledge torments.

Take Me (English/Shakespearean)

Why let me fly when you can hold me down?
You could save trouble, keep me home, so look:
I gave to you a pedestal and crown
To make me yours. Since I saw that you took
Them, I shall try to kill my pride inside.
I need you as the mind controlling me
To take me for an entertaining ride.
My spir't grows tiresome leading constantly.

Because I've climbed high, I refuse to fall.
Sometimes I think that I expect too much
When I sit waiting for his late phone call.
Though maybe if I accept how life is such,
Accepting that my role here is to lead,
Will I be happy once my heart is freed?

Drowned (Italian)

Must I regret commiting that one sin?
Regretting cannot take its weight away
from my soul. I still try to sezie today,
pretending to be what I could have been.

Once I hit ocean floors, my blood went thin,
it causing my unconscious self-decay
Of will to live in righteousness. I pray
for ways to heal my mind of its chagrin,

Yet optimisim makes me feel unsure
Of faith's pretense to which my feelings hold
In desperate attempt to find my ground.
I know that if I step back and endure
A new perspective to replace the old,
May I leave haunting times that kept me bound.

I'm soaked with raindrops
from your one-time shower, storms
of crazy night love.

Keep me from myself. Let destiny emerge during dawn of tomorrow.

Bring it to me. I cannot go, for the curse
of my actions will once again provoke trouble.

Oh, destiny! Bring forth your mercy now!

Posted at 4/10/2005 11:44:04 pm by AnnemalMuse
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Tuesday, December 07, 2004

2004

"For a Future Xmas"

Materials fade, get forgotten.
Two decades ago my mother
Gave me a garden filled with
Love, energy, happiness,
A smile,
Musicality, artistry, creativity
for me to nurture forever.

I hated how I had
to take care of each one
Constantly.
Constantly.
"Too much hard work for a
Little girl!" I believed,
Constantly.

The first bunch grew naturally while
The rest took too much time.
I couldn't play much, thanks to
The garden.

Through deathly ill winters,
Hot blazing summer,
Oh, how much discipline I've learned!
I just want to fly free with
My fruits I harvest.

Somber Song

Did you have to show me innocence, spirit, you?
With your hidden party child singing, my heart grew!
He grabbed it ou of my chest to throw it away,
blowing out my youthful glow into this dark decay.
I could still feel your touch under his affection,
wishing that all I'd given him was cold rejection.
You did not want what was tainted by men.
All I knew was passionate love--lust--then

Listening to songs in night's stillness I do
I do know it should have been you,
but
Since I've released my dam,
My flooded heart ran.
You had to hide beneath.
Therefore you were beat.
It was my fault; I should've waited.
To forget my mistake I live sedated.
Not once have I regretted something
'Cept this time of ripped off clothing.
Each time my hand is taken,
I feel sorrow seeing you forsaken.
Love surrounds me as my aura shines.
Hate attacks me as he says, "She's mine."

Posted at 12/7/2004 7:10:09 pm by AnnemalMuse
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